You're Squeezing Your Goals Too Hard




Remember that scene in the movie Tommy Boy where Chris Farley's character is demonstrating what always goes wrong when he tries to make a sale? He's using a bread roll as a prop, and he squeezes it into crumbs in his hand to show what happens when he tries too hard.

When it comes to want we really want, we often obsess over it, and essentially squeeze it to death.

My mentor got a bunch of us into this obscure book called Reality Transurfing. It's lengthy, and I won't do it justice here. But the premise is that universal forces work on a pendulum, and we want to be neutral. When we overreact to something, we create what the author calls “excess potential”. Meaning, we start to gather too much energy around the thing. We swing too far toward one end of the pendulum, so there's going to be a backlash when it tries to swing back into balance. Whereas, had we remained relaxed, it would have just solved itself on its own.

For example, I've historically had a comically hard time when it has to do with bureaucracy of any kind. I was never going to get lucky at the DMV. I was always the one to wait in line for two hours, then be told I had the wrong form. Then I'd get home and the printer wouldn't work to print the form. Any kind of paperwork would always go wrong. And ask anyone who's known me for a long time - I would experience, and express, my deep frustration.

Then I started consciously reacting neutrally. I knew I was being tested, and the more I reacted, the more I'd be faced with these kinds of situations. Combined with a dedicated meditation practice over the past four years, this approach tangibly changed things for me. Now paperwork goes through without a hitch. Technological problems quickly sort themselves out. Occasionally, I hit a bump, but I (usually) remember it's just a test. I don't feed it any more energy through an emotional response. 

Obsessive focus on our goals creates excess potential. My suggestion is to make a sustainable plan to get where you want to go. Dispassionately carry out the plan. Do no more or less than what is required to get you there. And when you're not working on the plan, focus on something else. Preferably something really fun. Give the thing some space to figure itself out. 

Because after all, as many of us have found, what you seek is seeking you. You just have to be in a neutral enough space to identify and receive it.




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