One of the most helpful things I've ever done for myself is to stay alert to when I'm focusing on things that don't matter. A few years ago I was heading operations for a startup. We finally got a process in place for a project. If you've worked for a startup, you know how important this is in order to be able to scale. Well, this one guy just refused to follow the process. And it was making me furious. I was getting very passive aggressive--and, at times, downright aggressive--about it! My boss pulled me aside and told me I was completely wasting my time. This should have been obvious, but the way he said it, it really landed. I like order, but believing we can control others who just aren't going to play ball is a waste of time. In Kundalini Yoga teacher training, one of the participants asked the instructor about how much to get involved in activism. There was so much in this world that distressed her, and she felt a responsibility to address all of it.
Gurujas explained we each have to identify what our piece of it all is going to be. We can't possibly shoulder everything. We just have to know why we're here, and what we can focus on and control, and leave the rest to the billions of other people here for their own reasons. Once you start to identify where you're wasting precious time, it becomes more and more subtle. It quickly becomes clear complaining to a coworker about the same thing over and over again is out. So is getting involved in family and friend drama that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Then it's responding to neurotic emails from people just dumping their subconscious on you. It's debating endlessly with others on Facebook. It's obsessing over your appearance. How does it show up for you? Identify it, drop it--and watch how much more purposeful you can be when that energy is freed up for what you need to do. If you need support, learn more about one on one sessions here.
To receive my writing directly to your inbox, subscribe here.