Do you show up for others when they need it?
I wasn't always good about this. And then at a family member's funeral several years ago, so many people made an appearance. I was touched. From then on, I've been better about being there for people.
I've never been a joiner. As a kid, I heard my cousin say he joined the GDI fraternity at his college ("God-Damn-Independent") and that pretty much sums up my family's approach. I grew up in the western part of the United States, in the state of Arizona, where most people don't have vast networks of family. They, or their parents or grandparents, headed out west in search of opportunity, and learned how to make it on their own.
The downsides of cliques and insular communities are clear. But a solid group of people who have your back - we all need one of those.
When my grandfather died a few weeks ago, those people swooped in. 120 women from my yoga community chanted for him. My brother-in-law, who had never met my grandfather, had his church say mass for him. My uncle's best friend had the college where he works fly their flags at half mast. We can't meet in person for a memorial at the moment, but messages of support poured in.
This stuff matters. Especially when people seem to have a ton of friends, we often think our text or call won't mean much. But every single message makes a difference during a time of loss. Most of us have been trying to keep our own heads above water throughout this crisis, and we haven't had a lot of extra energy to support many others. It's understandable. But it doesn't take much.
I once had a Human Design reading where I was told my ideal environment was a cave. It resonated! I'm an extreme introvert. But I'm going to continue to do my best to show up for people when it counts. I hope this will nudge you to do the same.
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